Marital strife caused by a lifeguarding manual from the 80s — Human Beings do not naturally belong in the water. — Lifesaving: Rescue and Water Safety © American Red Cross 1974. Modern human beings do not naturally move house. So why have I done it thirteen times since marrying the love of my life? Back in hunter-gatherer days, people were constantly…

And how to solve it — It was the vicar who cracked the case. “Ah, you’re a writer,” he said sipping his tea and taking a bite of cake. “I do a bit of writing myself.” Why we were having tea and cake prior to the Ash Wednesday service is a story for another day. …

Headlines that grabbed me from the FOR YOU page today — Everyone agrees titles are crucial if you want to get read online. But how do you know what works? Don’t different things attract different readers? After being a prolific reader and writer for over two years, I’ve been mostly away from Medium for the last few months. …

East versus west in an epic battle of the butt blasters — Remember the early days of the pandemic when toilet paper was flying off the shelves faster than Ticketmaster can bump up the prices of the latest hot ticket? Nobody wants to be caught short with shitty shorts when the roll runs out. Other cultures are way ahead of Americans. Why…

I’ve really missed you all — Have you looked for new posts or comments from me in the last two months? I’ve been Medium MIA for a bit. Where did I go? Why? Who cares? What did I learn about Medium during my hiatus? Keep reading. Intentional breaks to recharge are awesome Unfortunately, this was not a recharging break. This was more…

Somehow I always make a major packing mistake — The good news about having packers swoop in and box up all your worldly possessions is you get to sit back perusing online real estate listings dreaming about the new house you’ll never be able to afford. The bad news is something you didn’t intend to pack with your household…

After I Move Everything in My Life Will Be Better — I have lived on 3 continents, in 4 countries, 7 states, 15 cities, and in 56 houses/apartments. My lifetime record is six years and I’ve done that four places: the Philippines, Maryland, Japan, and Virginia. So I know a thing or six zillion about moving house. I’ve been in my…

I never hyped Santa to my kids. 2 out of 3 believed anyway. — To Santa or not to Santa. That is the question. Once your kids find out you lied to them about Santa, how can they trust anything else you have to say? OR… What kind of cruel parent would deny their child the magic of believing in a jolly old present-bringing…

Sometimes human kindness comes where you least expect it — For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. — Johnny Carson My mother’s bank, credit card, cell phone, and google accounts were all compromised. I’m spending hours each day on the phone in a three-way call with her and various customer service…