Why I’m Glad I Raised My Girls in Japan Where Communal Hot Baths are Common

Getting naked with your preteens is a great way to help them through puberty

Mary DeVries
7 min readMar 9, 2021

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Photo by Cloris Ying on Unsplash

There is nothing like seeing a wide variety of naked women of all shapes, sizes, and ages to give girls a realistic counterpoint to the mostly unattainable photoshopped portrayal of feminine beauty common in the West. This was an unexpected but wonderful benefit of moving to Japan when my daughters were preteens and leaving six years later on the other side of puberty.

My middle child was the first family member to experience public bathing. It happened on a Girl Scout homestay with a Japanese family.

“So after dinner, we went to this place and I didn’t really know what it was or why we were there because my family didn’t speak any English really. They paid admission and the dad and son went through one door and I went with the mom and the daughter through another door and then everybody started taking their clothes off so I did too.”

I couldn’t decide whether to be impressed that my kid’s reaction was, oh okay, this must be the culturally appropriate thing to do so I’ll follow their lead or horrified that she didn’t even pause to consider what she was getting herself into before following the crowd into nakedness.

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Mary DeVries

The older I get, the less I know. That won’t stop me from writing about everything and anything under the sun. Join me in delighting and despairing about life.