Mary DeVries
1 min readMay 28, 2021

--

I think you are correct that the history bogged you down. You asked an intriguing question in the title, answered the mystery of which country it was immediately, then told me I would need to have a history lesson before I could begin to understand the how. The first paragraph of your history was pretty dry.

It is all fascinating material and I was lapping up every sentence by the time I got to the covid denial stuff but if it weren't for evaluating it for SSC I would have bounced long before I got there.

The history is worth telling but I would have structured the story differently. I would have lead with "Coronavirus Spreads Worldwide

Beginning in March 2020, every country in the world began feeling the effects of Covid-19. Every country that is except (supposedly) Turkmenistan." Get a bit into the nitty gritty of how crazy their covid denial in then go back to the history. Kind of a "how can a country be so crazy? Well they have a long history of crazy" Consider alternating between present and past or do a present, past, present sandwich. Tighten things up a bit and you've got an awesome story. You really did your research and it's interesting stuff.

--

--

Mary DeVries
Mary DeVries

Written by Mary DeVries

I delight, despair and write about a life lived around the world. Fueled by Yorkshire Gold tea.

Responses (1)