Maybe you are overthinking this. If you don't both enjoy sex with each other your relationship is going to struggle. If you are using sex as behavior modification to get a guy to act the way you want I don't think the relationship is going to go the distance.

I agree that having more sex with a guy who isn't meeting your needs just in the hope that it will keep him around is a bad idea. But so is gatekeeping sex in a healthy relationship. Score keeping is dangerous. Ideally you want both people to be all in and eager to sleep with each other because they both enjoy it.