Okay, with that kind of ratio, you know your opening is the problem. This piece is so young I would immediately change the opening. Take the first section out entirely. You could use it to write another story entire focused on what Australians do when they meet each other abroad.

Likewise you could write a story about Batman and Melbourne where you take elements from the Batman lore and weave it through a write up on Melbourne.

What this story is, is a great write up on the city. I suspect your 104 views came from people either expecting a cool Batman story or a great Melbourne write up. You actually delivered the second but lost your viewers before they got that far.

The core of this piece is great. You've convinced me to Melbourne to my evergrowing list.