Mary DeVries
Mar 4, 2021

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Your photography is absolutely incredible. I loved reading this story.

One thing I found a little jarring was how often you used sentence fragments. It makes your writing feel a little choppy.

The photos are the real star in this piece. I love your joy at experiencing this rare phenomena. I think the writing would benefit from a little tightening up. Take out anything that doesn't need to be in there.

Thanks for sharing.

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Mary DeVries
Mary DeVries

Written by Mary DeVries

I delight, despair and write about a life lived around the world. Fueled by Yorkshire Gold tea.

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